Falling down the rabbit hole...

Lately, (as in the past few months) I kind of feel like I have been slipping. Pretty much in every aspect of everything.
I've been slipping up in friendships a lot, I started to slip up in school at the end of the semester, and now I am totally slipping up in work.
I have been an employee for a total of 10 days, already I have had to lie about being hungover to go home early because I was too sick to work, and then today I thought that I worked at 9, but in reality it was 7 (mind you, this has a lot to do with a major fuck up on my manager's part and her shitty pencil written note instead of a formal schedule...) So when the phone rang at 7:10 to wake me up, informing me that I should probably go ahead and get my ass to work like 10min ago, this all sort of came to a head.
Why this apathy?
Especially towards the people who are paying me to do stuff (however shitty and redundant it may be..)
More importantly however, is the fact that I am losing touch with people. On top of that I don't even know how to go about making more of an effort.
Somebody told me at the beginning of all this how the universe wouldn't just let me drift around without a purpose. As reassuring as that maybe was at the time, the universe can get off its coffee break and start showing me some meaning any time now. These last couple of months have been like one constant kick in the head, reinforcing these things called consequences. Casue and effect, just everything has been about cause and effect. I'm pretty sure I get the meaning of that whole little life lesson now, so that can just eff off too.
I also keep hearing these buzz words about "karma" well that can start to turn around any damn time too for sure. I think I've gotten my taste of the bad luck, so the good luck can start coming any time it wants. Seriously though. What the fuck?
As some other wise words state however, I do still have my fingers and I'm not fat. Infact some of my tight clothes aren't so tight anymore. It's just hard to keep sight of the small things when these big things feel like they're blocking my view of everything.
I think that I've had my chin up (so to speak) for so long that the muscles are starting to shake and get tired.
I feel like a ship without port (got to start using the nautical references, I am in Halifax after all..)
I need a safe port to tie up in. I'm feeling pretty weathered. (Hows that for deep and cheesy.)

I miss my Ottawa friends.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go brood and feel sorry for myself some more.