Fuck Quebec

Fuck Quebec and its lack of proper and clear roadway signage.
Fuck Quebec and its low speed limits.
Fuck Quebec and its ability to ooze sketchiness at every turn.
Fuck Quebec for taking all of my money at its many fine retail and beveradge establishments.


Fuck Quebec has been the running theme for the past week of my life. I guess I should give la belle provence another try, but frankly it has a long ways to go before I am willing to souviens it.

Before you go and accuse me of being unjustly hostile to Canada's largest province, allow me to explain.....

One long and lonely February night, a mere four months ago, 4 friends, over several beers, decided to embark upon a road journey that would lead them through 4 provinces in total and take them away from the tedium of daily life for a week. This was a very attractive prospect for the fierce foursome as it was the dead of winter in dreary Halifax. Two of this enchanted group needed to venture to just south of the centre of the universe (aka toronto) to attend the wedding of a sibling. The other two possessed drivers' licences and an adventurous spirit and thus it was decided that they would all venture away from the daily grind in Halifax and venture out to new and exciting parts of this fair country.

The days and weeks dragged on until finally the time was near to depart. Rich they were not, and so when an opportunity arose to acquire a cheaper auto, two of this brave band ventured forth into a cruel and hostile world (aka Truro) to retrieve said auto. After one long hour on a bus, and one very very questionable taxi drive later, they arrived to pick up their trusty white steed (aka a cream coloured Chrysler 300, check it out here) and at once departed once again for Halifax to rendez-vous with the rest of the duo squared. Their unabashed joy was soon stifled when they realized they would be delaybed by several hours due to a nasty car crash. Always resourceful, they turned their trusty steed around and travelled through the hostile country side and eventually reached the fair town of Halifax once again.

The duo squared then drove their trusty steed off and into the sunset, headed for what adventures may lie in waiting for them......


Facts.

• One can make it to Edmunston in less than 6 hours
• A Chrysler 300 has a cap on it that prevents it from going over 185km/hour.
• Irving Mainways have the cleanest bathrooms
  
• A Buffalo can jump nearly 7 feet in the air.

I digress....

Upon arriving in Montreal in around 11 hours, we took a wrong turn and ended up in refinery hell land. We drove in circles in a white gangster car with nova scotia plates listening to hip hop at 5am on a wednesday morning for an hour. We read the map wrong. All of the fucking streets in Montreal have the same name. Fuck Quebec.

Luckily, we made it to the hotel, crashed until aprox. 1pm. At which point the drinking commenced. And did not stop until Sunday night.
Thursday we shopped, and shopped some more and then we drank. We went to this place called Mad Hatters. They cleam to be the "best dive in town". I won't dispute that claim, though I did have a really great time.

Friday we drove to Toronto, got stuck in construction traffic for an hour and drove for what seemed like days to reach Toronto. We stayed in The Beaches area of Toronto (didn't know there were beaches there?! Me neither.) I did not want to leave. I wanted to find a job and live there and just be there and not here. I can't really explain it... it just felt right.. and comfortable. I still don't see why people hate Toronto. I've been 3 times and each time I think I like it even more..

Anyway, I drank a lot. Went to soem posh club in downtown Toronto, and watched every single world cup game that was on from Friday night until Sunday night. Including the Netherlands- Portugal match at a Dutch bar downtown. It was intense. Packed with people with standing room only all wearing Holland colours, all yelling and screaming as though we were actually in Germany at the stadium. It was a pretty incredible experience. Definately a highlite of the trip.

The drive home was beyond hellish. Every kilometre we drove was one closer to coming home, and work and all the other shit that I was really glad to get away from; and one kilometre further from the amazing week that had just occured. I didn't take a single picture the whole time I was away. Not one. Nothing.
Other hellishness included 2 speeding tickets, including one in quebec after we got lost in rivier-du-loup at 3am. Fuck Quebec.

Due to our abudance of infractions against the legal speed limit (we got another speeding ticket in Ontario) the drive home seemed to take a real long time. Mostly because we had to go the speed limit, which was a bit of a chore for our trusty steed.

All in all, a solid week. Lots of time to think about things, and very little stress. A lot of sunshine and good times. And beer. Lots and lots of beer.

Oh. And fuck quebec one more time for good measure.
eat a big dick la belle province.