Will you still need me will you still feed me when I'm 64..

I feel the need to write soemthing.... more positive than last time.
I left that last one hanging out there for awhile.

Stuff still sucks for the most part, but I've already covered that.

I do however have Canada day off! And not to mention a decent working schedule for the next 2 weeks to lessen the suck somewhat.

So it's Friday. Another weekend. What the fuck? Where did that come from. Time flies and all that business.

Its warm, the city is growing on me in a big way.

I walked by the Public Gardens Monday night en route to get drunk on Monday (a tradition it seems....) and saw all the kids getting their prom pictures taken. As if that was already like 2 years ago.
I seem to keep running into all these people from my past, or atleast seeing them walk by on the street. This one girl I went to school with in Chester got married this spring. Then I started wondering whose wedding I would attend first out of my friends. I have my suspicions, but you just never know. Either way, no way in hell am I wearing some ugly bridesmaide dress. Fuck that. I call fashion consultant to any wedding I may be involved with in the future in order to insure only the prettiest of dresses worn by all in attendance. Thank you.

And so here I sit, all dressed up and not sure where/if/when I go..

I went home this week.. Took some time for what I thought would be a breather. Turns out home stresses me out more than being here at work does. The longer I am home the more apparant it becomes to me that being there isn't a good thing for me. I work much better from a distance be it 40min or 3 provinces.

On the nerdy side of things, I got some new computer speakers. Shit son. Thats all I have to say.. My poor neighbours must hate me when I crank Buck 65 with the bass up all the way at 8 in the morning... oooops... I forget that just because I'm awake doesn't mean everybody else is... Oh well.

Fuck I had a serious reason to write this whole entry deal up but do you think I can remember thet point that I wanted to make now? nope. No... its gone. just like that.

I picked my courses for next year sort of.. I made a schedule atleast, although I have this feeling that everything I am taking is a 1/2 year credit, so then I will just have to back to the proverbial drawing board and pick some more stuff. Highlights include Youth culture (sex drugs and rock and roll basically....), intro to world religions (i figured it was time to have some solid info backing my anti-religious ideas..), and a whole class on the cold war!!!!!!!! (gaaah... only I and possibly another history major could get that excited over that class...) And then some kind of english thing, like contemporary criticism or theory or some shit like that? I don't even know, its a requirement and its the only class of a choice of 3 that works in my schedule. Oh and late 20th century lit. I might also take the history of rock and roll if it turns out that one of my classes is only a fall class. Lets all hold out for that. SO freaking cool. I think I could TEACH that class.....

On that note I think I am going to change my outfit one more time...Good day to you.

Falling down the rabbit hole...

Lately, (as in the past few months) I kind of feel like I have been slipping. Pretty much in every aspect of everything.
I've been slipping up in friendships a lot, I started to slip up in school at the end of the semester, and now I am totally slipping up in work.
I have been an employee for a total of 10 days, already I have had to lie about being hungover to go home early because I was too sick to work, and then today I thought that I worked at 9, but in reality it was 7 (mind you, this has a lot to do with a major fuck up on my manager's part and her shitty pencil written note instead of a formal schedule...) So when the phone rang at 7:10 to wake me up, informing me that I should probably go ahead and get my ass to work like 10min ago, this all sort of came to a head.
Why this apathy?
Especially towards the people who are paying me to do stuff (however shitty and redundant it may be..)
More importantly however, is the fact that I am losing touch with people. On top of that I don't even know how to go about making more of an effort.
Somebody told me at the beginning of all this how the universe wouldn't just let me drift around without a purpose. As reassuring as that maybe was at the time, the universe can get off its coffee break and start showing me some meaning any time now. These last couple of months have been like one constant kick in the head, reinforcing these things called consequences. Casue and effect, just everything has been about cause and effect. I'm pretty sure I get the meaning of that whole little life lesson now, so that can just eff off too.
I also keep hearing these buzz words about "karma" well that can start to turn around any damn time too for sure. I think I've gotten my taste of the bad luck, so the good luck can start coming any time it wants. Seriously though. What the fuck?
As some other wise words state however, I do still have my fingers and I'm not fat. Infact some of my tight clothes aren't so tight anymore. It's just hard to keep sight of the small things when these big things feel like they're blocking my view of everything.
I think that I've had my chin up (so to speak) for so long that the muscles are starting to shake and get tired.
I feel like a ship without port (got to start using the nautical references, I am in Halifax after all..)
I need a safe port to tie up in. I'm feeling pretty weathered. (Hows that for deep and cheesy.)

I miss my Ottawa friends.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go brood and feel sorry for myself some more.

I wear my sunglasses at night...

Woooooo what a week!

Lets start from the beginning....
no. WAIT.
I'm starting from today and working BACKWARD!

Friday: Had to be at work for 8am, which was a bitch and a half. Had a failry sucessful day, I am officially done training. I also had a job interview at La Cave this afternoon. Apparently they got 200+ resumes and out of those they chose like less than 10 people to interview. So even if I don't get the job, it's still pretty cool that I atleast got an interview. The guy that did the interviewing said that he would call me back tonight sometime.... It's 9:40ish now.. so we'll see I guess.. On the way home from the interview I detoured through the Public Gardens. I sat on a bench by the duck pond with my water and just enjoyed the day... It really is pretty there. I think I kind of take it for granted because I've been going there since I can remember. This spring has been all about seeing familiar things with new eyes it seems.

But then. The best part of the day.
The BEST part my friends....

I GOT MAIL!!! From KAT!!! She sent my candy junk food!!! And a Picture!!!!!!! But the best part by far, was the poem... So- Dear Kat, That was amazing. It made me laugh, it made me cry, thanks friend.


Thursday: First full day of work! I got my dippy uniform and I do indeed have to take out my nose ring. Bitches and Hoes. Went out for ice-cream tonight and for 2 walks around the city because it was effing beautiful outside.

Wednesday: Had my 2nd interview for Perks! She called me at like 10 as I was just waking up and was like "how soon can you be here?" and I was like "11:30ish?" and she's all like, "see ya then" and so then I went, and I talked, and she hired me, and then I started that night at 5! haha.. This was also the first sunny day in literally a month.

Tuesday: Today sucked. There really is no other way to put it. It was raining, and cold (what else is new) and I was bored and unemployed. I was feeling pretty damn shitty thats for sure. As a result, I layed on the futon under a quilt and just sort of stared off into space.

Monday: Had a job interview at Perks! It went pretty well. I finished training at the old folks home. At the end of my shift my boss called me into his office (all i could think was, DAMNIT! Im going to miss the bus now and have to wait a whole hour for the next one....) and he was like "We sense that you're very unhappy here" (no shit.) and so I was like "Yeah. I am. I had a job interview this morning. If i get the job I intend to take it." and he was like, "Ok. We are giving you the opportunity to resign" and I was like "Cya later." And so, thus concluded the worst 4 days of my life. Upon getting home, I realized that I was once again unemployed and sorta screwed. But the modd was lifted slightly by the discovery of a new FUTON MATTRESS!! Yesssss.... Now we have furnature in our living room like a real appartment!! instead of just the uncomfortable frame and big pillows that we were using.. (we're hardcore..) Stay tuned for news regarding a house warming party......

So to recap, incase you're confused:
-Quit old folks home.
- Got new job as coffee "hostess" or barista if you will, at Halifax's own starbucksish esatblishment, Perks, which is a 30sec. walk from my apaprtment (score)
- another job interview for a wicked nice restaurant that specilizes in gourmet cheesecake!! (and I thought my pants were tight NOW!)

It has been quite the week indeed