Shoot Me Now.

Jell-o Cheesecake has been an interersting flavour experience.
Now that thats out of the way....

I got a job.... It pays $10.61 an hour, but wait. Things that are too good to be true, usually are.

I work at a retirement home. The way it was explained to me, was that it wasn't a nursing home. More of a community, like an extreme luxury appartment building. BULLSHIT.

I was hired as a waitress. BULLSHIT.

There is a set menu every night, that the residents choose like a week ahead of time. They shuffle, wheel, roll whatever, into the dinding room every night. Only, they all come in at different times and what not. So, say there are tables for 4, and you have 7 of these tables in your section. At one table, there might be somebody having an appetizer, somebody with a main couse, somebody with dessert and somebody yet to arrive and any number of endless bunches of fun combinations like that. So basically, I make 30 million trips back and forth to every table.
That is the easy part.

After everybody shuffles back up to their respective appartments, the entire dining room needs to be cleaned. All of the tables need to be cleared, and ALL of the dinner dishes need to be washed. Every meal is 3 courses, there are cups and saucers as well as bread plates on every table. There are roughly 35 tables in the dining room. I wash the dishes. as well as a lot of the dishes from the kitchen. Thats right folks, I am an effing dishwasher.
After that, I get to scrub down the entire dishroom AND the kitchen! Hooorah!
FUCKING SHOOT ME NOW.

Oh, and the best part is, I have to wear long black pants, and a long sleeved white shirt... and a bowtie. Its like a million degrees in the building because old people are perpetually cold.

Oh, and today? today they spotted my 2-toned hair.

"What's on her HEAD?" "What's wrong with her HAIR?" "Is that her hair or is she wearing a band on her head?"
In voices loud enough so that I could hear them perfectly clearly, because older folks assume that you cannot hear well because they can't.

I effing swear it right now that I want somebody to do me in before I end up like that.
I do NOT want to go in a home, I do NOT want to have a wheelchair, walker or cane. For my sake, and yours, just effing give me too many pills or something.

All I can keep thinking about is why the hell am I doing this when I could have been back working at the Rope Loft, looking out over the harbour everyday, doing a job that I actually enjoyed and raking in the dough.
This job sucks the life right out of me. The only thing that prevented me from a full on breakdown at the bus stop was the fact that I did not want to have to trek all across Halifax with mascara and eyeliner caked all on my face.

To cap this wonderful week off, I had my braces tightened and I haven't had solid food since Thursday morning. I am hungry and my mouth is throbbing.

On the bright side, or potential bright side atleast, I have a job interview at a coffee shop on Monday. Lets hope that work out, if it does I am SO gone from this bullshit job I have right now.
If I can get that, plus something else part time, I will be ok......

I will be ok... I WILL be ok....


Eventually........................

An Ode to Jocelyn

A rainy Sunday it was, not too long ago
In an appartment on Pepperell St.
2 roomates sat down the hall from each other, talking on MSN.
Why, may you ask?
For they were lazy, says I.

They had no cushion for their barren futon frame
The could not watch TV, nor movies, they could only complain.

The rain poured down and down
The minutes ticked on and on.

Suggestions of a tunnel to be dug; a passageway to the store
So absurd it was considered, life was such a bore.

And so one roomate questions why there is nothing in this blog.
Nothing to read, no accomplishments to applaud.

And so this is my answer dear roomate
This is what I have to say to you,

Where are you Richard?? I want to talk to you... Richard... RICHARD!!!!!!!!

Eff to the effing max.

EFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ok.....

Since really screaming might raise some eyebrows in the house of Mel, I needed to atleast electronically get that out.

But hey, on the other hand, having my parents think i have legitimately lost it might atleast get me outa here.....

Which, if I do say so myself, I need to effing do.

The tally: 26 resumes to 25 different restaurants (I took 2 to the bitter end...)
1 interview. 0 job.
Shoot me now.

To make matters worse, my parents have decided that I don't realize just how shitty of a situation I am in and so they feel the need to keep reminding me. "Jeeze, what are you going to do? I mean you need a job. Can you go bak to the Rope Loft? Maybe you should try..." Maybe you should cram it with walnuts.
Its like... ok Im 20. I realize how fucked I am. Riding my ass like I am some dumb ass kid is NOT helping. In fact it is making me feel more stressed out.

DAMNIT.


Ok.

Anyway..

Went to the Palace for the first time last weekend. Not bad, it's actually nice inside which is funny because it's so skeazy there. We got in VIP which I think just made the whole experience funnier. But yeah, whatev drank some wine, bonded with the roomie a little more it was a good night.

Before that, on Thursday night we went to this little show at Ginger's Tavern for this band called Down with the Butterfly. They were really good, and it was a nice small intimate environment. Good times were had by all. Then we had nachos at the shoe shop. Sooo good.

Saturday day was beautiful... I slept in wicked late and did nothing really...

Tuesday was feener's b-day celebration. We went to the knot. I like the knot. But then again I like any place that serves alchohol. As a result, I was kind of hung over on wednesday which is rare for me. I just haven't been getting much practice lately is all.

I got me some new specs too, they're pretty effing spiffy for glasses I guess.

Blah... so far this summer has been high in sucking. And it had better soon turn itself around, otherwise its not going to be pretty. Last summer was so much fun. What a let down to come home its been. I mean.... yeah I missed everybody here and all of that but like.... I don't have my freedom, I don't have cash, I miss Ottawa and more importantly I miss everybody from there... It's lonely here. Lonlier than a bachelor appartment on gilmour st I can tell you that much.

Anyway... enough of this woefulness and self- pitying...

Some other interesting things have occured, but I'm not sure what to make of them or even if I should be making anything out of them. I will leave it at that.

$99 for the Stones is rediculous... way to suck the fun outa that concert promoters.... I suggest a road trip anyway and we all just sit outside the concert grounds and listen.... All i need is a car... any takers???

eff.

I want my MTV

I spent my first night in my new huge room in my new beautiful appartment on wednesday night. I am 75% unpacked, I need more shelves/places to put stuff before I can do the final push.
I handed out 15 resumes on Thursday and have probably 15 more places I could/should/ will go to.
Somebody had better atleast call me. I had to pay bills today and now I have no money plus more bills to pay. Bitches. Bitches and hoes.

So my room is huge, but pink..... but did I mention its huge??? yeah..... I have a pink room. Although it's not like baby pink, pink.. it's like... shell pink, or even a taupey pink... but definately a lot of pink. My favourite colour it lime green. I have a lot of lime green things. It does not look so hot. But I find that I care less and less.

We have a super tacky window. We decorated the living room. We have no furnature.

I miss people already......

I have been home for a week and while I have been busy, I feel.... let down or something.
Last summer coming home was amazing. I had a lot of stuff going on/ waiting for me when I first got back. I don't think I was home more than 2 nights for all of May. There were so many people to see and places to go and so far I haven't seen anybody.

Then again... who is there to see? This year it became clear that this summer would be different for a whole bunch of different reasons, and thats not to say that this isn't a good thing. Its just that all these changes seemed to happen without ceremony or warning, and then all of a sudden, Oh... ok then. I guess its hard to explain. Fact is, last summer was the best summer ever, and it was the root of my wanting to come home really. It wasn't the cause (although, I don't even know what the cause is really..) but it gave the desire a strong base.

At the same time, I don't really have any strong desire to restart some connections... I am content to be ultra anti-social for some reason. I give that about 3 more days until I am sick of hermitdom and need a social fix of people that are under the age of 25. seriously.

Is it just me or is mother's day hyped to the max this year? Like, it's almost like it's the new christmas. In may. and instead of it being about jesus, its about mothers. Your Mother to be exact.
I mean, I feel like I am the worst daughter in the world because I am not buying my mom a pink ipod mini or a freakin diamond necklace. I mean, help a brother out here, you know what I mean? Am I doomed to rot in bad daughter hell for the rest of my life because I spent my money on booze and other cheap thrills this year? Admittedly, I am exaggerating. but not by much damnit.

In other, less crazed news......

I made a case for my ipod tonight. Yeah, I resorted to sewing to ease my boredom. The cool part is though that the case is so freaking boss that it's sick. So phat that its sick if you will. It has an orange tropical print liner, and the outside is black cord and then the coolest part ever is this hot pink eighth note that I embroidered on the front all by myself! man I'm so fucking crafty sometimes! It only took me like.... 2 hours to make... not even. Except now my index finger and thumb are wicked sore and full of all kinds of minature needle holes because I kept stickin myself.

And then like, tomorrow, I am like, so totally like going to like the valley! Ohmygod. I'm like totally excited. Really... I am. I'm not lying... I need a life... or a job. Or maybe both.
I think this has gone on long enough, don't you?

Ps. if you just read all that, high five yourself for perservearing...

Home Bitter Home...

Right so... I'm home... back in NS... wooooooo....

To say I was less than thrilled would be well.... the truth I guess.

My Ottawa time sped by too fast. I felt rushed and frazzled. It all was over before I was ready to let it all go. I also missed out on saying goodbye to a few key people whom I really wanted to see before I left. Plus it rained the whole last 4 days or so..

Sulking aside though, it was super to have Feener there for the moral support. I'm sure most of downtown Ottawa and some OC transpo drivers are wondering who the crazy crying girl was..... but uh, whatever.

So yeah, flight delayed and rough. Got home late... didn't really sleep although I was quite exhausted.
I think I lasted a record 14 hours before becoming so bored that I wanted to cry. I made it 5 after my parents got home before I wanted to run away screaming, and that brings us to today...

I move my stuff to Halifax tomorrow.

I would stay but I am wicked broke.
I might stay anyway..........

The new Joel Plaskett is really countryish...... I dunno if I'm that crazy about it.
New NIN and a Sloan's greatest hits CD. Not too shabby if I do say so.

Thus in conclusion...... HIRE ME. PAY ME MONEY. GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!